dissociation

Brave and Reckless

my mask labeled

functioning adult

is slipping today

i keep putting

it back in place

and it stays for a little while

before it slides down again

like ill-fitting glasses

or a hat that’s too big

revealing all the brokenness

beneath

all the vulnerability

I try to hide

i watch myself

having normal

conversations with

co-workers

as though I am across

the room

maybe I should get

some popcorn to eat

while I enjoy this show called

dissociation

i make work related

phone calls

ask intelligent questions

answer emails

even write a consent

type words of thanks and

encouragement

as if everything

is okay

like I’m okay

trying with various

degrees of success to

ignore the screaming vortex

that is inside me

maybe is me

i even start to reach out a

a few times

to ask for. . .

i don’t know what

someone to hold up a mirror

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