A Serious Note

Christmas is coming, folks!

This week in Leicester, the Christmas lights were switched on and what a sight that was to behold. Turned up at 4:26, lights came on at 4:30, left at 4:31. It felt strange standing in the city centre in a big crowd of people and waiting for something to happen, because earlier in the week, I’d been standing in that exact same position, watching a man sitting on top of a building, threatening to jump.

Looking back at it now, I can’t even believe I stood and watched for the length of time that I did. We must have waited for about 10 minutes, and yes, we were watching because we wanted to make sure he got down safely, but at the same time, the worst could have happened. People around us were muttering ‘just jump already,’ and ‘he’s just doing it for attention,’ which really upset me. It’s come to the point when people would rather see another life lost than put the effort in to try and save it.

Some said that the man had mental health issues, others said that he was homeless and was trying to get sectioned, so that he’d have somewhere to live. It’s absolutely heartbreaking that for him, that was the only option. He had to put his own life on the line, in order to get some attention. Maybe the police saw it as a nuisance, but the police are there to help and protect us. This man needed help and protection – and if he thought that the only way someone would notice him was to sit atop a building, where no doubt onlookers would gather (hoping to see some ‘action’) then that just tells us that something is wrong with our society.

I strongly believe that there is no human life worth nothing. Our attitude to this man’s well-being can give us a reality check. There are people struggling all around us, and more often than not we don’t realise it. The only thing that we can do is be a smiling face, a warm presence in their lives, no matter who they are or what they’ve done or how they look.

WWJD?

Every Single Emotion

Hello, my fine friends. A great deal has happened since we last spoke. This has been a week of a LOT of self growth, challenge, emotion and heartbreak. If I could speak to myself a couple of weeks ago, let alone a year or so ago, I feel we would be different enough to actually get along.

To begin with, a friend from university offered me the opportunity to go and interview Lucy Rose, a singer who I’ve been a big fan of for several years now. Obviously, I jumped at the chance. It was something I’d never done before. She asked me to interview her before her gig, then go to the gig and review it. I prepared my questions, practiced recording myself asking them and rehearsed my warm and welcoming smile in the mirror. Little did I know, the car park (where the car that would take me to the interview was parked) had been closed temporarily, the taxi I then called would go to the entirely wrong place and the one they sent after would be twenty minutes late. Of course, being the totally hip and cool tour manager that he was, my being late was “literally nothing to worry about it,” and I got my interview done and dusted. The stress I felt in that hour before was the worst I’d felt in a long time. I think I actually cried on the side of the road. And I wasn’t even being interviewed?!?!?!

Anyway, that was a big moment for me. It was lovely to go to the gig too, and watch her perform the songs I’d been listening to on the bus for years. If you don’t know her, she’s quite fantastic and I’ll put a couple cheeky links at the end of this post so you can check her out.

The second challenge this week was going on the CU Weekend Away. Surrounded by lots of new people for two days filled me with a LOT of anxiety but I knew that I’d be proud of myself if I went. And I don’t regret it in any way. I felt my faith grow, began some new friendships and began questioning so much about myself. I don’t find it easy to make new friends, to start conversations – and I really felt that during the weekend. It’s difficult to keep reassuring yourself that true friendships can take time to develop. Being surrounded by so many people who know God and who love him gave me a new sense of being okay to be me. It’s okay that I’m not the quickest wit or the funniest joker or the talented singer, because he made me to be his daughter and that’s what I need to focus on. However, I did write a pretty SiCk poem and feeling at ease to read it out in front of people gave me a sense of comfort and strength.

Then the worst came. The attacks in Paris really hit home with me, as I’m sure they did with so many people. It’s that feeling of being unsafe, every moment being so precious. When I came home from the weekend away and saw my boyfriend again, every emotion inside me spilled out. It’s the fact that it could have been him. It could have been my mum, my dad, my brothers or sister, my friends. You just don’t know what is going to happen. I spend the good part of an hour crying on the phone to my mum on Sunday night, just coming to terms with the fact that my boyfriend, who I feel so strongly is my soul mate, doesn’t know Jesus and won’t have that security of heaven and paradise waiting for him if the worst were to happen. You never realise how much you love someone until you think about losing them.

If there’s anything I’ve learnt in the last week, it’s take every SINGLE opportunity when it comes knocking and don’t waste a moment. It’s fine to cry, to laugh, to get angry, but don’t be bleak. Don’t live without passion and don’t live with boredom. Make the most of every single minute, and I don’t mean try and be happy all the time. Just LIVE, live with emotion and excitement and change and progress.

Here’s some things I’ve been enjoying this week.

Lucy Rose – Like An Arrow

Flyte – Please Eloise

These guys ^ were Lucy Rose’s support and they’re excellent.

BYEEEEE

 

 

Halloween and Stuff

So, much has happened in the last few weeks since I declared that I was going to make weekly blog posts in order to keep myself on track. One of those things is that I forgot I decided to do this. But it’s fine, because I don’t have any followers anyway. So the only person I’m really hurting is myself. As always.

I joke, I joke. Life seems pretty good as I sit at my desk in my university flat, waiting for my pizza to cook. I’ve had a great week, enjoyed a visit from my family, handed in a couple of assignments and actually made some real good friends. Halloween was eventful, but I enjoyed myself nonetheless and came out of it with a messy, tear-stained face along with new friendships and pride that I actually went out in that very short dress. I did wear tights. But that’s not so much a confidence issue as a way of covering up the fact that I hadn’t shaved my legs in a good month or so.

I have come to notice something about university friendships. Some will flourish for about a week or so, and then die soon after. Some will be gradual, a slight smile exchanged in the corridor until you meet on a night-out and become best pals. Some people will cling to you like a sloth clings to his branch; your existence may become essential for theirs. And some will require some bravery. You come across so many people at university, whether it’s in class or a society, in a club or a bar, through another friend or even at the printer in the library. What’s important is learning to embrace this, and knowing that not every person you speak to will be pleasant, or have anything in common with you. You don’t have to like everyone, but then again you don’t have to hate everyone. University forces you into uncomfortable situations every single day and it’s up to you to make the best of it.

I’ll just give you a moment while you dry your eyes.

So, nothing dreadful has happened yet. I’m not regretting too many decisions just yet. I’ll leave you with a couple of videos that I’ve been enjoying these past few weeks, and speak to you sooner than you’d probably appreciate.

Trap Queen – Josh Levi, KHS

An amazing piano cover of Fetty Wap’s Trap Queen, little too much reverb but I’m into it.

Great Are You Lord – All Sons and Daughters

I saw this band a few years ago and almost fell asleep with how boring they were. However, this song is incredibly beautiful and we’ve been singing it at CU and church recently, I LOVE IT.